Thursday, September 30, 2004

Letters

Dear Dr. Pain in My Mouth,
Thank you ever so much for taking my tooth out. It was a broken wisdom tooth. And it was not bothering me one bit. I was in no pain. But being the efficient doctor that you are you said it had to come out. I trusted you. After all YOU are the one that has a degree in dentistry. I fought the thought of canceling all day long and I went. And things were going smoothly, I took the needles like a champ. Then once you got me all numbed up the evil Doctor in you took over. You could not take the tooth out with the little tooth pulling thingies. Noooo. You had to pry the tooth out. And it hurt dam it. And I freaked out. I could not breath. But I am sure this is all in a days work for you.

Sincerely,
Sissy McChomperless

PS. Also could you thank your nurse for me. She was ever so good at making me feel like a drug addict when I called back for more pain medication.



Dear Afternoon DJ,
Must you play Copa-Cabana EVERY afternoon during the oldies lunch? I mean I like it as much as the next girl but, its a bit much.

Thank You,
Sissy McCrabbypants



Dear Anonymous Telemarketer,
I wanted to apologize for hanging up on you when you called me at 9:05 pm the other night. You see I had, had a tooth pulled that day (see above) and had JUST fallen asleep. Also when I said "Do you know what time it is?" that was a rhetorical question. The fact that you actually told me what time it was, just pissed me off. OH and on the other had, what the fuck are you doing calling me at 9:05 anyway??? Whats wrong with suppertime? You know I could sue you right?

Sincerely,
Sissy McDon'tcallmeagain


Dear Boss,
Thank you for being compassionate and genuinely concerned when I called in sick from the side of the road yesterday. And thank your son for calling me in the afternoon to see how I was feeling.

Sincerely,
Your Faithful Employee


Dear Shell,
Thank you for calling me yesterday morning to check on me when I didn't show up on line. Its nice to know that if I was abducted on my way to work that someone would miss me by 10 am.


Sincerely,
Sissy


Dear children,
Thank you for behaving and being sensitive to my needs last night. I love you.

Sincerely,
Mum


Dear Husband,
Thank you for worrying about me and doing my chores last night, even though you were exhausted from work yourself. I love you.

Sincerely,
Your Wife



Dear Babee (My Kitten),
Thank you for cuddling with me all day while I was in pain. You somehow knew I didn't feel well. Your purring in my ear and your presence helped me tremendously. The licking of the cheek with the sandpaper tongue...not so much, but I love you anyway.

Sincerely,
She Who Loves You



Dear Dunkin Donuts Employee,
When you can not understand a customer thru the drive through speaker, please do not be annoyed with said customer as you do not know what that person's problem may be. For example, maybe....the person could not yet move their mouth with out pain after an extremely hard tooth extraction. MMMMkay?

No tip for you! Thankyoucomeagain


Dear Lady at Tedeschi's in the Scooter, Chair Thingy,
I am thinking if you can not walk so well, that you might want to consider quitting smoking. It may help your health. I'm just sayin........

Sincerely,
Sissy Mc Noseypants



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Dear God,
Thank you with all of my heart for keeping my son safe and out of harms way.

Sincerely,
Just ME







4 Comments:

Blogger shellibells said...

Fuck that dentist don't go back. Find a new one! (mine is cute)
Copa Cabana? You need a new station gf!
Tell the telemarketer to go screw and don't feel a damn bit bad about it...better yet don't answer the phone.
Hug your boss and me too! and your kids, and your hubby, and babee...and....(umm, no)
That dunkin donuts employee needs to have all her teeth pulled...then again, she prolly doesn't have any to begin with.
Push that lady off her scooter and poke that butt out on her forehead.
Thank god for the good things, thank goat for the bad.
Stay safe Ran!
((ok i still need more therapy!!))
But you gotta love me!! xoxo

1:52 PM  
Blogger Sissychong said...

Alrighty then! Loved the comments, but pushing the old lady?

1:54 PM  
Blogger Sissychong said...

Alrighty then. Loved the comments but pushing the old lady...a little scary...mmmmkay?

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there an echo in here?

8:59 AM  

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