Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Little South Central

This past weekend has been horrible. I have been living in a battle zone. The Pole-eece have been called to my street at least once a day for various reasons. Columbus must have been turning in his grave.

Its been like a block party in South Central. There has been a drunken, rolling over cars, name calling, bitch slapping cat fight, in which my new car was dented. Another night a female neighbor was dragged away kicking and screaming by the cops. Her male counterpart standing outside in his speedo underwear. (YUK) I have heard shouting matches that would make a sailor blush. There was even a little girl who flipped off a little boy over the Yankees/Red Sox conflict. There has been indecent exposure by a drunken, toothless fool. People smoking CRACK. People stealing from one another. Yelling, swearing, dagger eyes, you name it, my neighborhood has been a shmorgishborg of violence.

Was it a full moon?

Has everyone quit smoking at once?

Although I have been thinking about it for some time. It is definitely a priority to get my family out of this hell. I want a place where my little ones can play out in the back yard without having to be called into the house because the next door neighbor cannot control his alcohol induced turrets syndrome.

A place where I do not have to hang out the window to make sure my 18 year old gets into his car safely.

Its strange because I do not feel threatened or afraid at all when I am outside. I guess I am brave, or stupid. Maybe I have that "fuck with me, you'll be sorry" look in my eye. In my life lately I have really been feeling like I could hurt someone. Call off the guys from the rubber room. I don't mean myself or my family. I mean if something was to go down, If someone was to give me shit directly, I have this anger or frustration so large inside of me that I think I could explode. I think I could really go off on someone.

I am overwhelmed. My anger has fermented for almost 2 yrs. We have been stolen from, blamed, yelled at and looked down upon since we moved into this neighborhood. We do not belong here. We belong in a better place. Far, far away. Away from these angry, hurtful, nasty people. Before we turn into them. I can feel it creeping into my being. The uncaring "fuck you asshole" attitude. It really is a shame because that is not my personality. This is what happens, I suppose, when society pushes a person too far. They begin to push back.

Happy (Fucking) Tuesday


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