Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Squirrels and Blackberry Snaaps

*** There has been some question as to whether the following story is true or not. It is true. The facts are true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent***

This morning when the kids and I walked out the front door, I noticed what looked like a petrified squirrel laying about 6 ft. from our door on the sidewalk. I gasped, so flip and flop of course said, "WHAT? WHATS WRONG?" So I told them. Being curious children they had to go look at it. They walked up to it and I sternly cautioned them not to touch that "gross, nastee germ infested dead animal".

As they got closer my daughter said "eeeeeeww" and my son said "it died having babies".

Babies? WTF? SO, yeah, I had to go look.

And sitting there was a dead squirrel and 2 dead mice. All of them were laying on their sides. In between the squirrels 2 front paws, was a little, empty bottle of blackberry snaaps! The cap was missing. (***I realize that the squirrel did not actually drink the snaaps, but it was really in his paws, probably some deranged kid in my neighborhood put it there***)

I guess there should be a disclaimer on the bottle that says something like over use of alcohol may be detrimental to the health of squirrels and other small creatures.

So a squirrel and his two mouse buddies were partying outside my house last night. They had a little too much to drink, and this is where the situation gets a bit grey. Did the squirrel in a drunken rage kill the mice and then turn his claws on himself? Did the mice gang up on the squirrel, and if so what happened to them? Maybe they were being obnoxious and loud and one of the stray cats in the neighborhood went postal on them all.

I guess we'll never know for sure.

Poor drunken Squirrel. Thank mother nature he did not drive.


Blogger Michelle said...

Given the insanity of my day this has given me the wonerful perspective I needed. HA a squirell that parties himself to death with the mice. I would blame it all on the neighborhood cat. The cat was probably owned by the kids who put the schnapps bottle there as a cover to protect his kitty from suspicion

2:17 PM  

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