Tuesday, November 30, 2004


I looked across the room and I caught his eye. My heart skipped a beat. He was looking back at me. I hadn't seen him in SO long. He looked good. He looked handsome. He looked SEXY. He looked happy. I could read his thoughts, in his deep brown eyes. He had missed me. I had missed him. I wondered where he had been and why he went there. I knew where I had been and why I had gone there. It was a forced departure. Not one I was happy with. I wondered if he had been happy with it. No, I knew deep down he had not been happy with it. It was something that just happened. The pressures and stresses of life pushed us apart. Little by little until the crevice between us was huge. Until each thought the other no longer cared. Until each thought the other's heart was full of disdain and hate. How could we have been so foolish. We did still care after all this time. After all the pain. After all the abrasiveness we had felt for each other.

As I looked at him I felt one hot tear stream down my cheek, my lips began to tremble just a bit. He saw that tear. Maybe it glistened in the light as it descended my face. Maybe he felt it rip at his heart. Maybe he knew me that well. Once upon a time he did know me that well, we used to joke that we were twin souls. Whatever the reason, he walked toward me. He embraced me.

"I love you", he said.

"I have missed you so much, I was so afraid I would never see you again, I have felt so alone with out you" the tears became uncontrollable at this point. He held me and stroked my hair, and he whispered, "I've missed you too, I am so glad I am back, don't be sad I will never leave you again. Thank you for waiting for me, thank you for being patient".

In that moment I knew that "we" would eventually be ok.

We bought a snowflake this weekend, at a craft fair. A craft fair he WANTED to go to with me. It hangs by a little suction cup on my dresser mirror. It signifies our knew beginning, and it is to remind us that love is fragile, and beautiful and unique.

Happy Tuesday


Blogger Michelle said...

WOW how the world can shift from Monday to Tuesday. Your post brought tears to MY eyes. You guys needed a reconnect and it sounds like he is making the effort in initiating things being better. Cherish every moment of it. You deserve it.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Dgn said...

Sweet & wonderfull!
just reading it makes me happy..

(even tough in my sick mind I tought about chocolate (or a brownie) .. I have moments like that sometimes.. with chocolate.. :/ But everything s better now, I found someone as crazy as me :) to love - a small personal note, excuse me :D)

I'm really glad you both have moments like that! Its only a pitty you had to go trough shit to get 'em :'(

7:51 PM  
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6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rhodiola Rosea is the latest natural remedy to join the arsenal of natural anxiety and stress (post traumatic stress) reducers.

Rhodiola Rosea, also known as Golden Root, is a native plant of arctic Siberia. For centuries it has been used by eastern European and Asian cultures for physical endurance, work productivity, longevity, resistance to high altitude sickness, and to treat fatigue, depression, anemia, impotence, gastrointestinal ailments, infections, and nervous system disorders.

The first recorded medicinal applications of rodia riza (renamed Rhodiola Rosea) was made by the Greek physician, Dioscorides, in 77 C.E. in 'De Materia Medica'. Rhodiola Rosea has been included in official Russian medicine since 1969.

Despite its long history, the Western world has only recently become aware of the health benefits of Rhodiola Rosea. It has come to the attention of many natural health practitioners because of studies which tested its affects on combating anxiety and stress.

Rhodiola Rosea is considered an adaptogen. This means it has an overall stabilizing effect on the body without disrupting other functions. Its ability to normalize hormones may be effective for treating depression and anxiety.

Studies of Rhodiola Rosea show that it stimulates neurotransmitters and enhances their effects on the brain. This includes the ability for the brain to process serotonin which helps the body to adapt to stress.

Since adaptogens improve the body's overall ability to handle stress, it has been studied to identify it's effects on biological, chemical and physical stress.

A study was performed to test the effects of Rhodiola Rosea when stress or post traumatic stress is caused by intense mental work (such as final exams). Such tests concluded that using Rhodiola Rosea improved the amount and quality of work, increasing mental clarity and reducing the effects of fatigue.

The effects of Rhodiola Rosea have also been tested on stress and anxiety from both physical and emotional sources. A report by the American Botanical Council states that "Most users find that it improves their mood, energy level, and mental clarity." They also report on a study that indicated Rhodiola Rosea could increase stress tolerance while at the same time protecting the brain and heart from the physical affects of stress.

This report included details of studies which highlight the overall health benefits of Rhodiola Rosea.

The generally recommended dose is 200-600mg/day. The active properties should be a minimum 0.8 percent salidroside and 3 percent rosavin.

It is important for consumers to know that Rhodiola may be sold using other species that do not share the properties of Rhodiola Rosea, post traumatic stress, or at ineffective strengths for treatment. Anyone with depression or anxiety should also check with a health professional when treating these symptoms.

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7:12 AM  

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