Thursday, December 09, 2004

Good Cop, Bad Cop

We had a problem with our 8 year old last night. For no apparent reason it seems,other than to piss us off.

I pulled out the usual ammunition:

Do you want to be punished? No response.
I will take away TV privileges. No response.
How about Game Cube? You won't be playing that ya know! No freakin* response.

After a good 5 or 10 minutes I decided I was done with this game. So I sent him to bed and warned him not to turn on the TV or I would be forced to throw it out the 3rd floor window.

So, the boy gets ups this morning and still doesn't want to finish his home work. It was time for the Good Cop/Bad Cop coercion.

Bad Cop: You will have an aweful weekend with out game cube, trust me.

Good Cop: Come on buddy it's just one paper, is that worth losing game cube?

Boy: grrrrumble, grrrrr

Bad Cop: You better get your butt moving, boy 'cuz, if you miss the bus, I'll double your punishment.

Good Cop: Let's get this done. Look how mad "bad cop" is getting.

Boy: {{sigh}} I...ummm......don't have to do this paper.

Bad Cop: HA, that is a lie. I am not stupid. What have I told you about lying? That's a whole separate punishment. Now, do you want to recant your former testimony? (yes bad cop really said that)

Boy: {{ looking at the floor shuffling feet}} Grrrumble grrrrr

Bad Cop: OK we'll start with tonight, you won't do your homework? (pause) NO GAME CUBE TONIGHT! Wanna start working on tomorrow now?

Good Cop: It is really not worth it to get in trouble at home and get in trouble at school, just get it done.

Boy: I won't get in trouble at school.

Bad Cop: Oh, yes you will because I will call Mrs. XYZ and tell her that you refused to do your homework and that you need to lose your recess, is that what you want?

Boy: {{holding head in hands}}

At this point, good cop motions to bad cop with the eye signal, which means conference in the other room.

Whispering:
Good Cop: I think he is about to crack. Let me do all the talking.
Bad Cop: OK but if he doesn't I am coming down hard.

They move back to the interrogation room.

Good Cop: Ok, now we have been more than patient, are you going to come to your senses, or do you choose punishment?

Boy: {{heavy sigh}} OK, ok, I will do it.

Good Cop: Good Boy!

Bad Cop: Wise choice.

Later, over coffee......

Bad Cop: Why do we always have to play good cop/bad cop?
Good Cop: I don't know but it works.
Bad Cop: I am sick of being the bad cop, next time can we switch?
Good Cop: You know that won't work.
Bad Cop: Pfft, un-fucken-fortunately.

Guess who the bad cop is. Yup, the one and only Sissychong. I betcha didn't know I was in law enforcement now didja? I earned my degree in criminal justice at CSI University. I minored in Cagney & Lacey, majored in LAPD Blue. And it was cheap!

Happy Thursday!



* Spell check wanted to replace freakin, with foreskin. No foreskin response? I think not!!




2 Comments:

Blogger Christi Lee said...

Ha! That goes aroung a lot in this house, the good + bad cop. I am the good cop most of the time, since these are soon to be step children. It would be fun to be the bad cop for once. =)

11:55 AM  
Blogger Cece said...

ugh. yours too? I'm good cop AND bad cop. Roy tries to just stay out of it. it's exhausting...

11:22 AM  

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