Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Hot Chocolate and Drunken Elves

aaaaah, the healing powers of hot chocolate. Gotta love it. I am having a hard time coping right now. Christmas stress I guess. My little anxiety problem has blossomed into a full grown mushroom cloud of doom. In other words watch out world, sissychong's gonna blow!

Nothing seems to be moving fast enough for me. Except Christmas, that is coming too fast as usual. I was supposed to have sold the car by now, so I could pay back the money I borrowed to get my Christmas shopping done. This hasn't happened because it needs a flange. My husband in his infinite wisdom has decided he will repair this first. Hopefully by spring thaw. Ugh he is such a procrastinator. It took him a dam week to borrow a jack to LOOK at the damaged flange. Now he is waiting for one of his brothers to come and help him. It will be Christmas 2005 by the time this happens. This brother is forever in slow motion. I attribute this to the fact that it's difficult to move quickly when you have not one but two thumbs up your ass. I say sell the dam car as is. Take a profit cut, no big deal. This is completely illogical to him. Mean while my anxiety grows larger every day. Money truly is the root of all evil. Dam that George Washington and his stupid face.

And as long as I am on this bitching tangent. I have a bone to pick with YOU Santa. Where do you get off taking all the credit for the gifts every dam year. I scrimp and save and beg and borrow to buy my kids what they want and they are oh soo happy on Christmas morning. So happy and utterly greatful that YOU got them what they wanted. YOU....You lime light hogging bastard, can't you let them appreciate MY efforts for once? I think I may tell them you got killed in a terrible sleigh accident and all the presents are from me. Maybe thats a bit drastic, I could say you fell out of your sleigh and broke your leg, or a reindeer bit you and you have rabies. I could bribe the elves too you know. I could bribe them so easily with alcohol, you know how they love the sauce. I could have them change all the "froms" on the gifts. Yea thats right, they would do it for a couple of bottles of Jack. Don't make me call Mrs. Claus ya hear? Santa, step away from the name tags.

And if I hear Celine Dion sing Feliz Navidad or I hear that dam Dominique the Donkey song one more time, I think I make cut off my ears like Van Gogh.

And another thing.......aaah forget it! I need another mug of hot chocolate, dam PMS.

Happy First Day of Fuckin Winter


Blogger Michelle said...

I hate that damn Domenique the donkey song. Damn Domenique. Heee Hawww Hee Hawww. Good for you for not charging Christmas. Your kids love and appreicate you and will recognize your efforts as so much more grand even moreso as they get older. Hang in there this chaos of pre holiday season is almost past us!

p.s. williams sonoma makes a wonderful peppermint hot chocolate!

3:13 PM  
Blogger Random and Odd said...


Good luck!!

4:23 PM  
Blogger Cece said...

Santa only brings ONE gift plus stocking candy at my house. I take the credit for everything else. Is that bad?

4:51 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home