Friday, April 29, 2005

Is it Friday the 13th?

This morning was a nightmare. My eight year old son was in a daze. The boy could not wrap his brain around the tasks at hand. He could not pick out a shirt. He had two problems. By his standards every single shirt in his closet and drawers was too small, except that in reality the shirts would have fit me! If it wasn't too small then it was the wrong color or he didn't like it.

BOY, you have on grey athletic pants with a navy stripe down the leg, what the hell is wrong with the grey t-shirt? Whats not to like about a plain grey t-shirt? Or the navy one for that matter, jeez!

We went thru every shirt. And yes, I am a saint for not jumping out the third floor window and simaltaneously ripping my hair out of my head while screaming at the top of my lungs as I fell to the earth.

Then the BEEP came. The bus was waiting in front of the house and my son was still standing there in his bare chest. "Pick a shirt, pick a shirt", I said. He cocked his head and looked at me as if I had spoken in Chinese. I sent my 6 year old down to get on the bus and tell the driver that her brother would be down in a minute. But the minute turned into 3 and he beeped again...twice! And the boy was still half nekked. I threatened to send him to school with no shirt on! And then........the bus beeped again. Nothing snapped this kid out of his shirt enduced fog. I had to send my 15 year old down to tell the bus driver to leave with out him, and get her little sister back off the bus, because if I am going o drive one to school, I might as well drive two.

Driving them to school, means I am late for work. Let's face it I am talented but I have not mastered being in two places at once. Almost, but not quite. Fifteen minutes and many popped blood vessels in my brain later, the boy has an acceptable shirt on and we leave. I ask my husband to call my boss and tell him I am running late. <<< Remember that sentence. I drop off one child at the high school and head to the elementary school. I stop to let the two little ones out, it took all of two minutes for them to hop out of the car. The guy behind me was going postal, his arms were waving and his mouth was moving. So of course, I lingered to make sure they got onto the playground safely. As soon as they were out of sight, I turned around and flipped that guy right off! Yes, people, I had road rage, sitting still at a school cross walk. It was not the most mature thing I have ever done, and I hope to god none of the teachers or other kids saw me, but he stopped moving his mouth and waving his arms, so it worked right?

I get to work and my boss says, "If you are going to be this late could you please call?" My jaw dropped, and then I apologized and explained that hubbychong was supposed to have called for me. NICE, I am 30 minutes late, with no phone call, the day after I got a bonus.

But wait, it gets better, the phone rings:

Sissy: Good morning, So and So's Office

Hubby: Good Morning, I am calling to let your boss know you are going to be late.

Sissy: Well, thank you for calling, I'll be sure to let Mr. So and So know I am going to be late.

Hubby: OK, great, bye.

CLICK

Mr. SO and SO: Better late than never, huh?

Sissy: Yea {{insert geeky, nervous grin here}}

You see people, this is how my life works!

Happy Thank God It's Friday!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Migraines, Money and Miscellaneous Mutterings

Woke up with a migraine this morning. BLAK! or a My-brain as a friend of mine used to say, ya know because my brain hurts? Get it? HA! As you can tell by my joking, I have successfully obliterated the migraine, for the next 4 hours anyway, with "super-duper-migraine-be-gone" medicine. My doctor tells me they are not migraine headaches, they are tension headaches. Ummm, ok smarty pants with the degree in medicine, then how come when I take tension headache medicine it does not go away but, when I take migraine medicine it goes away? Hmmm? Yea, ya see? And I didn't even need to go to school for 8 years to diagnose it! Jeez, dam doctors think they know everything.
Anyway it's been 8 days, since I have been here. I know, I am a Slackaaaaaaaa (Sheli), but what can I say, nothing worth writing about has come up.
Yesterday was Administrative Professional's day. My wonderful boss's (bosses?) gave me a nice vase full of tulips, and a thank you card, and a hundred smackers, yee ha! I swore to myself that I was not spending one dam penny of it on bills. You see evertime I get a bonus I usually end up spending it on bills or on something someone else in the family needs, clothes, haircut, whatever. Not this time dam it. I have already told Hubbychong, I am spending this money on ME. Sorry family, but every once a decade I need to come first, mmmkay?
My problem is this I don't know what to do with the money. I can't decide. I was thinking maybe a pedicure, which I am in desperate need of. Or maybe a new hair-do and some high lites for summer? Definately not buying any clothes, I am on a diet and have been losing weight, so soon I can just go shopping in my closet for the clothes I grew out of and haven't seen in two years. Maybe a digital camera, printer dock, combo? Or a new cell phone? Or I could use the money to go see my son, who I haven't seen in almost a month. Gosh, it seems like so much longer than that. I miss that boy, but my heart is happy knowing he is safe.
Decisions, decisions. Wanna help me decide? Great! Thanks.
Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

What kind of English you speak?

Here is something fun....because I hardly ever ( or is it never have) done anything fun on this blog. 10% Dixie just because I say ya'all. I don't say it because I am from the south, I say it because I hate the term "you's" or "you's guys", so I replace it with ya'all. Sounds better doesn't it?

Don't mind that mess down there, I had to rewrite some of the html which I am no freakin' good at. (can anyone teach me?) And that stuff just wouldn't go away.
If you want to find out what kind of english you speak go here.
Happy Wednesday!

Your Linguistic Profile:

45% Yankee
40% General American English
10% Dixie
5% Upper Midwestern
0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?



Tuesday, April 19, 2005

CRACK-fo-mercials

Can we talk for a moment about infomercials?

Great, thank you.

I am drawn to infomercial products, like a moth to a flame. Each and every infomercial I see, I want that product. As I am watching the infomercial, my brain is wizzing along, "oh I could do this and that and make this and fix that and....", you get the idea. I just know, that particular product, is going to simplify my life beyond belief. If I just had Yoga Booty Ballet I could be thin, and if I had the scunci steamer, my husband would never have to wear a wrinkled shirt again. It doesn't help that I am either half asleep or half awake when I surf into these infomercials. My half whatever brain, thinks it is smart and can coerse my half awake fingers into dialing for these items before I fully awakened. Let me say it now, I have actually never ordered and infomercial product, but I have come close. I have, however, had the phone AND the debit card in hand! Since then I have had to implement the "Sissy's 24 Hour Rule" for infomercial ordering. This, in short, is when I allow myself to write down the phone number, but I then have to wait 24 hours before I order. If the need is as great in 24 hours, then I will be free to purchase the wonder-product with out guilt. If not, (and so far) then I don't.

Oh don't get me wrong, I see through their exaggerations and hype. I even ridicule infomercials aloud, but in the back of my head, this little itty peice of my niave brain trys to take hold of the situation.

Sissy's Mouth: Shut up Daisy with your windsor pilates, you have always been thin you bitch!

Sissy's Brain on Infomercial Crack: Hey fingers, if we had Winsor Pilates, we could be tone and beautiful, just like Daisy Fuentes, I bet it would even tan our skin like hers, if we did it in the sun.

Sissy's Mouth: Oh my gosh, the magic bullet is just a stupid min-blender in disguise!

Sissy's Brain on Infomercial Crack: Hey fingers, if we had the magic bullet, just think of all the wonderful drinks and homemade salsas we could make for our friends and family. And in less than a minute! How cool is that?

Sissy's Mouth: Oh Jack, please it is darn time you retired dude.

Sissy's Brain on Infomercial Crack: Hey fingers, if we had Jack Lelaines juicer, well then we could be so very healthy drinking all of those delicious fruit and vegetable drinks with all the antioxidants that will ward off colds and allow us to live to a ripe old age of one hundred and two, like Jack has. And we could trick the kids into drinking their daily requirement of fruits and vegetables, there by earning us the Mother of the Year award.

Sissy's Mouth: Jeeze Tony, holy mother of all that is sweaty must you yell, sooo much?

Sissy's Brain on Infomercial Crack: Hey fingers, look at those healthy, fit people. You do know that the buns have been longing to look like that right? All we have to do is get that Gazelle, ok?

And so it goes, my struggle....dam you infomercial producers and your crack!

Friday, April 15, 2005

I AM THE BUG

CAUTION: MUCH WHINING AHEAD

Ya know that song that says, "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug"? Well, I am the bug. Things at Casa de Sissychong have not been going well lately. Hubby chong has been decreasing his "medicine" and he has been miserable with a capital, UGH! I don't mean to blame him for my troubles, but, pfft, I don't know who else to blame. Certainly not myself. How could that possibly be? Why would I make myself miserable? Right......

To him it's me and to me it's him, and to the kids, well I don't know they think we are both nuts I suppose. Not that we are yelling and screaming because we are not. He has been distant and I can not handle it anymore. I have been extra sensitive and emotional and he can not handle it anymore.

My first instinct is to cut off the problem. Ya know just cut it off an get rid of it. Run away, run, run away. Leave it behind. Stuff it way down inside where no one can see the pain. Stomp on it's ass. One problem with this is that I have a hard time giving up and admitting defeat. Another problem is that I LOVE HIS CRANKY ASS. The third problem is that I can not really pin point the problem. The real problem. Maybe if I can understand the real problem then I can fix it. Oh yea baby I am a fixer. I feel I need to fix everything. Yea, I am niave like that. I think I can fix everything for everybody and make the world a happy place, now everybody hold hands and sway in unison please. The problem with this is that I can not fix everything for everyone. I need to realize this and to accept it. Yea, that's it accept it. I guess I have realized it, now I need to accept it. I need him to fix his own troubles and I need to fix mine. I need to stop cushioning him from the world.

Some people would say it might be a good idea to seperate and each work on ourselves. If we are meant to get back together than we will work it out. On one hand I agree. On the other hand, it feels like giving up. Giving up is bad, giving up is weak. I don't like giving up. I don't want to be alone. I am afraid to be alone because I think I may hate it or I may love it. I may never want to get back together. Not because I don't love him, just because I feel I would have less stress and frustration, and that might feel good for a change. I would feel bad about feeling good. Yes, I am an onion, many, many layers.

On another hand (what is this like the fifth hand or some shit?) I feel like this: ok I have been with this man for 11 years. We have had our ups and downs like every couple. The past 2 years have been really hard. I have stuck by him threw his addiction, threw his rehab, and so far thru his recovery. We have come thru a lot of shit over the years and have always been able to get thru it. I feel like I have paid my dues. I have equity in this relationship per say. If we seperate I will get the shit end of the stick. I have all the responsibility and he will have all of the fun. He will be free to do as he pleases. And my life will go on as usual, work and kids and house cleaning etc. And I will be struggling even more to make ends meet. I may even need to get a second job. I would never see my kids. THAT'S NOT FAIR. Why the hell should I struggle? While he goes off an has a jolly time?...oh hell no, he is not getting off that easy. And then, when he is better and back to being the man I met and fell in love with again, he will be with someone else! All of my standing by him will end up being for someone elses benefit. WTF?

And me I will still be alone, because who would want a 37 year old divorcee x 2 with 3 kids living at home and another on his own? No man in his right mind, is the answer to that question. Not that I really care becasue the thought of another relationship makes my stomach turn. I have seen it so many times before. "The marriage ends, the man gets remarried and has another life, with a home and a white picket fence and the women is stuck struggling with the kids and never has anything until the day she dies. I have seen it happen with my mother and father, with aunts and uncles, with parents of my oldest daughters friends. This situation was thrust in my face just this past weekend, I brought my daughter to her friend's father's house. A nice place in the country, 3 nice cars in the driveway, and addition being built....nice. I have also dropped my daughter off at the same friend's house where she and her siblings live with their mother, in a housing project, and their car? An old looking, rusty, loud mufflered mini-van. Why? Because the mother has to struggle for everyday things for her and the kids. While the father, is having a jolly ole life. I'm am not going down like that. Don't get me wrong, I am not being a snob or anything. Believe me when I say I have been there and done that. If I had to do it again I would, but why should I? Why the hell should I struggle? I have struggled enough dam it.

I know, I know, I need counseling and very strong valiums.

Happy Fucked Up Friday!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Reason # 5,248 Why I Should NOT Move to MAINE

Friends like Sheli who randomly serenade me during instant message conversations about my moving,

Sheli: if you leaaaaaaaave me nooow
Sheli: you'll takeaway the biggest part of meeeeee
Sheli: whooohooohooooooooono baby please don't gooooow

Updates and The Kung Fu Hustle

{{sigh}}

I thought I would start out today by making a few updates.
For those of you who have read me from the beginning you know my husband had (has) an opiate addiction. After spending a week in a detoxification hospital, he began outpatient therapy and methodone maintenance treatment. The first clinic didn't work out for him, so he transferred to another one. He has been clean for 4 months now. I am very proud of him. I am proud of him for facing his demons and for taking steps to be opiate free for the rest of his life. He goes to counceling and we go to counceling together to help understand each others feelings on this issue. Each day is a struggle for him, but so far so good. I think one thing that helps him is that I told him I was on the brink of leaving him. Or at least my ego would like to think so. I think he knows I will no longer live with an addict. At a time in my life where I could talk to no one, I talked to all of you, my internet family, you all really helped me with your kind words and support. THANK YOU!

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law who lost everything in a fire, have been doing better. Or at least heading in that direction. They have gotten some support from their coimmunity in the form of food vouchers and clothing vouchers. They have gotten support from all of you who donated via my website. They are staying with relatives, right now, but have been offered the opportunity to rent a house from someone in their church. The house is currently being renovated, so they just have to wait for that to be finished. They have also received donations of toys and clothes for the baby, which is wonderful. Again, I say thank you for your kind words and support.

I saw a preview for this movie last night. All I have to say is, ......well, I don't know what to say about it. Part of me wants to laugh my ass off, part of me is very disturbed by a Kung Fu musical. Next thing you know, Jackie Chan will be on Broadway!

Happy Thursday!

Monday, April 04, 2005

The Good, The bad & The Ugly

I don't know about ya'all but this daylight savings shit has just kicked my ass. I did not want to get up at the ungodly hour of 5am this morning so I hit the snooze for 2 hours. That dam little buzzer was really starting to piss me off, ringing every dam 7 minutes, jeeesh!

I saw my son this weekend. It was awesome. He cut his hair. He cleaned his apartment. He showed me around the town that I introduced him to. I only stayed the day but it was so awesomely wonderful to see him. And to hug him, and to have him hug me back! And he said I love you. HA! He said I love you and I felt the meaning of his words. It wasn't just a "luv ya", it was "I love you" and he looked right into my eyes when he said it. It was a great feeling. He is doing good. His girl is doing good. They both have jobs now. I am so excited for them. Ahhh to be young and free again. {{heavy sigh}}

On a sadder note, the funeral is tomorrow. I can not even begin to think about how terrible it will be. I can not help feeling a bit guilty, that I am so happy for MY son, while someone close to me is so very sad for hers.

Everybody, hug and kiss your loved ones....right now, go........DO IT.........I'll wait.......

Good, I am proud of you!

Now, set forth and have a great day!