Friday, April 29, 2005

Is it Friday the 13th?

This morning was a nightmare. My eight year old son was in a daze. The boy could not wrap his brain around the tasks at hand. He could not pick out a shirt. He had two problems. By his standards every single shirt in his closet and drawers was too small, except that in reality the shirts would have fit me! If it wasn't too small then it was the wrong color or he didn't like it.

BOY, you have on grey athletic pants with a navy stripe down the leg, what the hell is wrong with the grey t-shirt? Whats not to like about a plain grey t-shirt? Or the navy one for that matter, jeez!

We went thru every shirt. And yes, I am a saint for not jumping out the third floor window and simaltaneously ripping my hair out of my head while screaming at the top of my lungs as I fell to the earth.

Then the BEEP came. The bus was waiting in front of the house and my son was still standing there in his bare chest. "Pick a shirt, pick a shirt", I said. He cocked his head and looked at me as if I had spoken in Chinese. I sent my 6 year old down to get on the bus and tell the driver that her brother would be down in a minute. But the minute turned into 3 and he beeped again...twice! And the boy was still half nekked. I threatened to send him to school with no shirt on! And then........the bus beeped again. Nothing snapped this kid out of his shirt enduced fog. I had to send my 15 year old down to tell the bus driver to leave with out him, and get her little sister back off the bus, because if I am going o drive one to school, I might as well drive two.

Driving them to school, means I am late for work. Let's face it I am talented but I have not mastered being in two places at once. Almost, but not quite. Fifteen minutes and many popped blood vessels in my brain later, the boy has an acceptable shirt on and we leave. I ask my husband to call my boss and tell him I am running late. <<< Remember that sentence. I drop off one child at the high school and head to the elementary school. I stop to let the two little ones out, it took all of two minutes for them to hop out of the car. The guy behind me was going postal, his arms were waving and his mouth was moving. So of course, I lingered to make sure they got onto the playground safely. As soon as they were out of sight, I turned around and flipped that guy right off! Yes, people, I had road rage, sitting still at a school cross walk. It was not the most mature thing I have ever done, and I hope to god none of the teachers or other kids saw me, but he stopped moving his mouth and waving his arms, so it worked right?

I get to work and my boss says, "If you are going to be this late could you please call?" My jaw dropped, and then I apologized and explained that hubbychong was supposed to have called for me. NICE, I am 30 minutes late, with no phone call, the day after I got a bonus.

But wait, it gets better, the phone rings:

Sissy: Good morning, So and So's Office

Hubby: Good Morning, I am calling to let your boss know you are going to be late.

Sissy: Well, thank you for calling, I'll be sure to let Mr. So and So know I am going to be late.

Hubby: OK, great, bye.


Mr. SO and SO: Better late than never, huh?

Sissy: Yea {{insert geeky, nervous grin here}}

You see people, this is how my life works!

Happy Thank God It's Friday!


Blogger Pissy Britches said...

God..what a damn day girly!
That sounds like mornings at my house. I am not trying to be a bitch but I am so glad to know that not just me has these issues with the children and trying to get them up and going and out the door. This morning my step son was hanging out on the couch in his boxer shorts with no clothes to wear for the day b/c he decided to wash them last night at 10 oclock and didn't put them in the dryer..he also had no shoes b/c he had washed them too and all of his other ones he left outside on the porch and it rained last night so there you have it. He said it was his dad's fault for not waking him up to put them in the dryer. I said it is your fucking fault because you should not be washing your motherfucking clothes at 10 oclock!
God help US!
Sorry for the rant. And hey, at least your bus driver honks and waits. Our kids have been running down the driveway and SHE can literally see them coming and she TAKES off and leaves them standing there.

11:03 AM  
Blogger madmanan said...

dayum, sux... :/ at least he called, right? :/

come 5pm, its the WEEKEND!!!

11:07 AM  
Blogger Sissychong said...

Rant away pissy britches, get it all out! Did you send him to school in wet clothes or his boxers?

All mothers who had a bad morning unite and toast the insanity with alcoholic beverages tonight!

11:10 AM  
Blogger shellibells said...

haahaahaa i cannot believe hubbychong did that to you...i woulda soooo sworn at the top of my lungs at him.
we are so going out tonight biatch...
leave that mother at home...just say..umm, i'll be right back i'm going to the store to get so and so...(ice cream maybe) and come back 4 hours later and say "sorry hun, sorry i'm late" and smirk.
grrrrrrrrrrrr hubbychong sucks today and you tell him i said so! lol

11:10 AM  
Blogger Sue said...

I am sending your son a t-shirt that says "My mommy loves me!" and that is what he can wear if the bus has to beep. Or perhaps one that says "My mommy dressed me today" Or one that says "help me I am fashion challenged" What do you think? Bad mornings suck. I hate kids.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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9:21 PM  

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