Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Blog Life vs. Real Life

I have a problem. . .

I am a closet blogger.

The only people in my real life that know I have a blog are Shelli and Hubby. (Oh, and Hubbychong's brother and my old boss, they both dooced me) I don't know if the last two still read me, Hubbychong does not, and I know Shelli does.

My problem is that I would love to share my blog with the rest of my family, (on one hand) but I am afraid. I feel this is a place that I should be able to be totally free with my words and emotions. I also feel, that if I would be inhibited to write honestly, if I knew that family would be reading. I have gotten into trouble several times for this blog, when Hubbychong found out I was writing about personal problems, I got in trouble, when my boss found out I was writing about moving to Maine, I got in trouble. Getting dooced can spell big trouble. I mean I didn't lose my job, (I was leaving anyway) and I didn't lose my marriage (but he was pretty pissed), but it was still painful.

So, I am at a crossroad, here. It might actually be a learning experience to open my blog to family, and to force myself to still write honestly. Or it could be devastating to me and them.

Do you have this problem? Is your blog a secret from the people in your real life? If so what have you experienced, good or bad? If your real life family and friends read your blog are you inhibited to write honestly? Please comment, reading other people's experiences may help me make this decision.

Happy Fucking Wednesday!

(perfect example here, could I write "Happy Fucking Wednesday", if I knew my mother was reading this?)


Blogger muse said...

I have given my blog's URL to my real friends, because I'd tend to tell them this stuff anyway (well, they get to learn more through my blog, but I think that it enhances the friendship). These are people whom I trust: they wouldn't use this info to stab me in the back later on.

As for family, well, mine is very small (mom, dad, sis and grand-ma) and none of them is on the Net... But if there were, I wouldn't give them this blog address. I don't feel comfortable discussing stuff like... hmmm, well, sex life I guess (not that I talk about it on my blog anyway) or how badly I _really_ feel about my upcoming divorce. It would worry them too much. Also, if they drive me nuts (as families are wont to do) I can vent here.

As for my husband, well, when I started the blog I actually started writing in English more than French mostly to help him to read what I wrote, then 2 weeks later all hell broke loose and I started using this blog as a venting space. So I'm glad I never gave him the addie. But I do use the reflexions that I came up with while writing here (and the thoughts prompted by readers' comments) in my conversations with him. This is sort of my space to arrange my thoughts, you know?

10:12 AM  
Blogger muse said...

Oh, and I _have_ to stay anonymous due to work (media = could be insider information), and also to protect my husband, I suppose... :p

12:14 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

I stay private from most of my family -that is until my brother found my blog, and now I somehow think he's going to judge me so i don't say all that I wish I could...and i feel shitty about that. I have actually considered starting a whole new blog, but it just wouldn't be the same. So maybe the answer is you need to have TWO blogs?? and secretly email me (lol) and the other dozen and more bloggers you want to have it, and not your immediate family. just never post pics of yourself or your kids and don't talk about your other blog, or use real names. That could actually be an idea I may consider. There is so many things I want to ventilate that I just can't.
You and me kid, let's do this! We can send a joint email to our readers. LOL

12:51 PM  
Blogger madmanan said...

i dont really use my blog in the same outlet as some of you. mine isnt so much of a journal, more of a "whatever i want to say for whoever reads my blog"...

i dont really share too much personal stuff, i mean sure i put pictures up, and tell stories of things ive done.

but for the most part, i dont put specifics in there.

there are friends of mine that know about my blog, because ive showed them, and then there are people that dont know about it.

but i dont care if they do, because i never get into the nitty gritty details of my life, or anyones life around me.

i guess what im trying to say, is that i let people into whatever part of my life that i want to, and thats it. but im just not the type of person who vents in writing.

i vent to my close friends, i vent to my brother...

i dont even know if i made any sense...

1:10 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

that makes perfect sense, manan, however if you DID want to vent on your blog, and you were caught in a situation such as this, what would you do? just vent and deal with the consequences? start a new blog?
I dunno, i have people to vent to, sure. but there is just something about an opinion coming from someone that doesnt' know anyone in that particular venting situation, OR your life, or that maybe has "been there" when no one i know has, that i appreciate. Somehow it helps to hear other people talk about it, rather than someone who i feel like i'm bothering or complaining to. if they read it and have somethign to say, they say it, and i am not chewning anyone's ear off. *sigh*

1:26 PM  
Blogger madmanan said...

if i absolutely had to vent on my blog, i would try and come up with an analogous situation and leave all the specifics out of it.

i dont know... good question, ill let you know when i hit that crossroad.

but when it comes down to, i have coworkers that im close with, close friends, brother, cousins, not so close friends...

so there are plenty of opinions there, all with their different level of how well they know me and/or my situation...

so i guess that works for me...

1:38 PM  
Blogger shellibells said...

well, you are just too damn easy....
lol. why do you have all the answers!?
haha! j/k

2:02 PM  
Blogger madmanan said...

i dont have ALL the answers ;) just some of them... hehe

and why you callin me easy??? thats just wrong!

2:06 PM  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

I couldn't post about one cent vibrators if my mom read my blog.

8:19 PM  
Blogger muse said...

Oh, by the way, I did start a Live Journal blog (cuz they allow you to choose whether posts are public, only visible to friends or private), with the idea that event that I wanted to write something even more private, I'd just go there, but so far I haven't used it (not even once). If I ever do, I'll post a link from my regular blog (since only chosed "blogger friends" will be able to read the LJ posts anyway), but for now, y'all have to deal with me as I am... LOL and my family has to get to know me the old fashioned way, through talk. ;)

I prefer the Blogger interface (though I like the public/private/friends LJ option), so that's why I set up camp here initially, and why I'm staying here. :)

10:00 AM  
Blogger shellibells said...

ONE FUCKING CENT?!?? Jeebizus! I paid at least 50 bux for mine!!

I must've missed that post! :(

11:30 AM  
Blogger muse said...

Hehe, well, I got one for a buck at the dollar store, once! LOL (seriously, right by the cash register!)

1:15 PM  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

My advice would be to not give it to your family. This should be your get a way..I have given it to just friends and I wish I wouldn't have. If you want to start another family blog I would recommend doing that.
My hubby knows about my blog but doesn't read it. He is just not nosey like me.

8:43 PM  
Blogger Kami said...

LOL. I have a secret one for griping about the people who read my regular one.

I use raw language on my regular blog, even though my family reads it. The complain about it, but I've said 100 times, if you don't like it, don't read it.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Dgn said...

FUCK, I just confused the "mail this to a friend" option with the "comment" option! Im so very very sorry! Anywho, here s the reply as I typed it in the wrong box & sorry again for the probably very wierd email! (this is plain embarassing)

I need your email to comment? thats new :s Anywho, Im back :)

The issue you re talking about here is something I think every blogger should at least consider before trusting their valuable toughts and feelings (diary) to the intwerweb. The anonimity of the masses..

I know the feeling you describe here. I never made a secret of my blog (you do remember me & it, do you?? :p) and I actually stimulated some of my friends to read my gruesome secrets. But in the end, it does make me wary of what I type. Each letter I put down, each word has me consider if I want anyone to know this.

In the end, the result is that I write less open than I could. There are things I dont want certain people to read, so to be on the safe side I just dont write them. On the other hand, I dont have the need to write those few oppinions down. And I'm really blunt and honest most of the time, so there s really not much I have to leave out. But there is, and thats because I realise that by putting my deepest soul stirrings online, I make them known to all who are faintly interested.

What am I saying here? (I know, it gets fuzzy, but thats because I wont reread it at this time o day when I should either be sleeping or studying!) Making your blog even more public than it already is might be quite a big step. But then again, there s already the posibility that people are reading what you write (ever tried to google yourself? it can be an angsty experience)! So how much would it Really change?

Most people dont talk to me about what they read in my personal internet diary. And those who do and come bitching about it on top of it all, get one simple answer.. "You read my personal blog. Its online so you can read it. But that doesnt mean I want to talk about it with you! So live with the fact that that is indeed what I think or stop reading my blog! Remember, I didnt ASK you to read it!"
And this kind of reaction mostly works :)

I hope I didnt just spew a large chunk of characters, impossible to combine to a text :)
Altough I ve been gone for a while (I moved to Gent with my GF), I'm back now, so you might get more comments soon :D

take care :)
G (Dgn)

11:08 PM  

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